Let's normalize the Midlife Awakening

Shiny red sports cars are so passé

“I think we should normalize a midlife awakening is what I’m saying.”

I’m pacing around my bedroom, making the bed while I leave a voice note to my best friend Kathryn. We’re giggling about how, a year out from our family’s quick and quiet move away from Oklahoma City, there are people who still don’t know that we packed up the homestead and moved all the way east, just about as far east as you can go, to the sunny shores of the Atlantic in Florida; and those that do know are still puzzling over the why.

Were they in some kind of trouble? Marriage or legal or otherwise? I told Kathryn that as a Gemini who lives for gossip (truly, a secret hates to see me coming!), I can only cross my fingers and hope that at least one person has stalked my mostly-deserted Facebook and Instagram accounts looking for clues to solve the mystery of our massive life overhaul. It would be my life’s biggest blessing to give someone that kind of social media deep-dive gift!

In reality, the truth is far less scandalous.

My husband Kyle and I are both staring down the barrel of 50. We’ve known for nearly ten years that our shared desire was a simple one: to never have to wear a winter coat ever again.

The pandemic launched many people into existential crisis of a variety of flavors, and mine was heavily infused with a newfound awareness of the brevity of this life when my mom died in 2022. She was 71, and she died of COVID which could not be healed by her body that had been battling MS for decades. I hope it doesn’t sound crass to say that none of us felt like her life was tragically cut short - that’s not the kind of awareness of death that I mean.

The life that my mom lived did change tragically in 1997 when a horrific car accident led to the MS violently taking over her mind and body. She lived, and I am so thankful for the years we had with her after the accident, thankful that she got to hold and spoil so many of her grandbabies, thankful that I could still hold her hand and hear her voice, but a not-small part of my mom died in that car wreck. She was three months from 47. I turned 47 in June of this year, and in the months leading up to that milestone, I had an increasing knowing that I could honor my mom’s life and death(s) by capital letter L I V I N G each year that I’m given after 47.

My pandemic-era not-quite-crisis came packed with all kinds of revelations, some of which I hope to unpack a little more in this space. But awakening to the brevity of life most definitely was the biggest contributor to our up-and-gone exit from Oklahoma.

When Sorta Awesome was still in production, we did a series that I’m very proud of - Midlife with Mindy and Meg. Throughout the episodes in that series, contributor Mindy Brouse and I tackled all kinds of issues relevant to this midlife phase of life, and one in particular really spoke to me - the one where we discussed facial changes (real!) and life pivots.

Life pivot.

As soon as Mindy spoke that phrase, the words caught in my mind.

What is the stereotypical midlife crisis if not a life pivot? For decades, our culture has taken note of men leaving their families and pursuing younger women, trading in the family car for a sports car and fucking off to have the adventures they had long dreamed of.

What does this midlife urge look like for women?

What if any person faced with the sudden reckoning of middle age framed it not as a crisis, but as an awakening?

Would it mean that instead of blowing up our lives in the wrong direction, we chose a path with a pivot towards living more fully, more authentically, more boldly? And, like, even as I’m typing those words, it all sounds just as trite as a Middle Age Dad dressing drippy. But also, phrases become trite only when they resonate strongly with many people. So.

Our generation is the one that turned up the volume on the topic of perimenopause; what was one hush-hush is now talked about in every corner of life. I think we need to do the same thing for midlife pivots. Not everyone can or wants to do something as drastic as move to a different time zone, but I have to think that most everyone can identify a desire that they can no longer justify putting off for “someday.”

Let’s awaken to those desires.

Let’s pursue those pivots.

Let’s do something that raises eyebrows and inspires social media sleuthing.

And if it does indeed involve a new sports car, please send me pics immediately.

Possessed by the heavy influence of Saturn/Father Time in my Capricorn Rising,
Meg